Money making idea #232: Hitch and online dating profiles

I like the film Hitch. Will Smith normally grates on me, but Hitch is a nicely done romantic comedy in which he plays a guy who gives personal advice to men who want to get that woman of their dreams. For a fee he provides them with tips on making the first contact, the art of engaging conversation, personal grooming, and the all important how to make a woman laugh. This last point is especially important if you are not much of a looker yourself.

So that gives me (yet another) business idea. It’s based on two premises: 2. Internet dating is very popular and 2. Lots of blokes on these sites see women who they think are out of their reach. So instead of said bloke bombarding this woman with clumsy compliments, cheesy one liners, and graphic photos, he could let ‘Hitch’ do the work for him. Hitch would provide end-to-end dating advice including which sites to subscribe to in the first place, a bespoke written profile, advice on photos, how to make the first contact etc etc. The first paragraph on the front page of the 'Hitch' website would probably go something like this:

Hello my friend - come on in and make yourself comfortable. Comfy now? OK. Good. Now just like Will Smith in ‘Hitch’ I am here just to help you. I can make sure that you get fixed up with that very special partner of your dreams. I’ll write you an internet dating profile that is sure to wow that very special lady that you currently have your eye on. After your profile ‘makeover’ she won’t be able to do anything but catch yours in return. So don’t worry - help is at hand. For a small one-off payment I guarantee that you’ll get her, or her nearest available stalker equivalent, within hours of receiving your ‘makeover’. You’ll be amazed at what a good profile can do for your chances with the girls. And for a limited time only I’ll also throw in for free some fresh and innovative making-that-first-contact ideas that will leave her wanting more more more (how do ya like it how do ya like it).

Lyrics as requested

I've had some requests --well one actually, from the groom-- for the lyrics to 'John and Emma's Halloween Wedding'. I think John may be after me for libel. It's all legit John, I swear. Here they are anyway. You can make your own mind up:

--

John you've got Emma
And Emma you've got John
And Emma when John's drumming
You can put your
You can put your
You can put your iPod on

The snare drum beats to a different kind of beat
It is metal
It's John and Emma's wedding

The bass drum at Johnny's feet beats out a perfect double beat
That is the beat
Of John and Emma's wedding

Lee's wearing black
Col's wearing black
I'm wearing black
We're all wearing black
It's a Halloween wedding

--

Words by Ian Martin & Lee Atkinson
Music by Ian Martin, Kerryn Martin, Lee Atkinson & Tony North.

Ex Members of Gip, Johnny Apollo, got married the other week. Me, Tony and Lee wrote a song as a present. Cloughie did a video montage of some of the wedding photos to go along with the song. Have a look on youtube. I'm the guy obsessed with videoing the proceedings on a Nokia E70.

Mushroom blog

My friends from work bought me a mushroom growing kit as a leaving present because I'm a "fun guy." Here's what happened to the mushrooms from the start to the end of May: